Bye Bye Amby Baby

The amby baby has been re-sold on e-bay. We recovered most of the money it cost to buy. Pink eye has been the illness of the week around here. You can't just get an antibiotic for it anymore either. You have to wait to see how it plays out. Does your child wake with his eyes glued shut? For 2 days? Do you have to wipe green goo from his eyes every 20 minutes? For 2 days? If you answered yes to ALL these questions then a trip to the doctor may be necessary. It is very unpleasant to have to deal with these symptoms occuring in a baby. We finally got the antibiotic ointment for his eyes friday, and by saturday his eyes were back to normal. As the Dr. put it 'his eyes look really gnarly'. That they did.

Tomorrow I will be sending out the dossier, I think. Not that it's a rush to get it in because the fingerprints must be approved before the dossier really does us any good. We have a fingerprint appointment on Dec. 14. We have to drive about 2 hours to get fingerprinted and it's been snowing like mad around here, so I am hoping that snow doesn't delay the process any further.

The big guy, who just recently finished his master's degree, is working as a nurse practitioner. This is equivalent to a physician assistant. He took a cut in pay going from a staff nurse to a nurse practitioner. Here is what the man is responsible for on a daily basis: doing rounds on patients in the morning to find out if there has been any change since the previous day, ordering tests on patients, prescribing medication for patients, diagnosing what is wrong with the patient, discharging patients with further medical instruction. Does any of this sound familiar? Sound like the job of a doctor perhaps? He gets paid 1/3 of what his colleagues as doctors get paid, and that just happens to be even less than a regular registered nurse. SAD, SAD, SAD. Fortunately, the hospital for which he works does not own the physician group that he works with AND they are going to 'buy' the group. That means that he is able to do some salary negotiating, and hopefully they will see the value in what he does. Don't get me wrong, I think nurses are paid pretty good. It's just that when you pay $30,000 to 'upgrade' your degree, and you are responsible for the same things a physician is you would think that would be worth some extra income.

I am almost finished with my A&PI class that I took an incomplete in last semester, then it's on to A&PII. Thankfully these classes are held at night, so I can attend while the big guy is home. I'll be able to start nursing classes in 1 year. Hopefully, we'll be able to work something out with the school when we get our referral.

Christmas Love:

Soy in, Amby Baby Out

Of course, the Amby Baby didn't last long. Why on earth would a $250 baby hammock be acceptable to a baby? He would much rather sleep in a $1200 king sized bed. A baby needs room, you know. I've accepted (surrendered) to the fact that my children just can't get enough of us. We're pretty likable people, I think. I just never thought that there would be beings in this world that would want to be glued to us 24 hours a day (5 year old included). We often times wake in the morning with 4 in the bed and the little one said "roll over, I'm crowded." So they all rolled over and the daddy fell out... you get the gist. On the other hand, we have switched the baby to soy formula. Did it make a huge difference? Not really, although, he is sleeping much better at night (I'll take whatever I can get - props to soy).

We will be ready to turn in our dossier next week. Still waiting for a letter from Immigration Services to let us know when our fingerprint date is. On the last round of adoption paperwork, we were O.K.'d to get fingerprinted before our homestudy was completed. Apparently this time the fingerprints will not be O.K.'d until they have the homestudy in their hands, which of course delays the whole process because we can't get our homestudy finalized until our physicals next week. UGH! We are looking at 18-24 months before we get a referral this time around. For some reason, our agency seems to be double the wait of others. But of course, keeping it all in perspective, it will happen at the right time for our family.

Can I rave about a product?

O.K. the Amby Baby hammock has arrived and is in use. At first baby M didn't like it at all. Mostly because IF I could even get him in it while he was still asleep, he was positioned so uncomfortably that he would wake almost immediately. It has been a slow process to learning the best way to put a sleeping child into a moving target. First, I pull the thing over to my bed and lay the hammock on the bed. Next, I lay the sleeping baby in the hammock and hold his body with my hands until he stops wrestling around. Then, I lift the hammock off the bed (which is attached to the frame) and allow him to rock back and forth for awhile. Seems to be working alright. Last night he slept, without waking, from 8:30 p.m. until 3:00 a.m. Perhaps just a fluke. I hate raving about products because the minute I do it stops working. So let's just say the vote isn't quite in yet but things are looking good. The Big Guy has been sick. Coughing-up-a-lung sick. He also has sleep apnea and needs a C-pap machine to sleep. Being congested and being required to breathe through your nose to use the machine is not compatible. So, he has been sleeping on the couch. I think that is one of the reasons baby M is sleeping so well. Let's just say the Big Guy is like a bull in a china closet.

On another note Flippity turned 5 yesterday. Makes me feel so old. He was in a great mood all day. We always have a huge party for him around his birthday for family. The party is this Sat. so he is very excited about that. We had a "dry run" last night when grandma and grandpa came for dinner and birthday cake. They brought their gifts, and he also opened ours. 5 is such a great age!

What Will We be for halloween?

The Amazing Spiderman and a puppy (costume compliments of Aunt E).

Still No Relief

The chiropractor has decided that she cannot help baby M. I can't say that it has made a great difference in his sleep. I feel like I'm getting more used to the fact that he will just be awake most of the night. Does this mean that my body has become a more efficient sleeper? Perhaps my body knows that restful sleep is few and far between so it sleeps great when it can. Anyway, we have one last trick up our sleeves, and if this doesn't work its going back on e-bay. Check out this link for the Amby Baby. If anyone has any experience with this good or bad please feel free to share. We haven't gotten it yet, but it sounds good in theory. Baby M is 5 months old now, he is a great joy to be around and still lots of work. He doesn't have to be held as much anymore, but only when he's well rested or entertained by Flippity will he sit by himself. He hates tummy time and lying on his back. He loves to give wide open mouthed baby kisses. He smiles all the time and is easy to make laugh. He is very interested in everything that is going on. His favorite person on earth, and the one he finds the most amusing is Flippity. He LOVES his bath at night, you'd think he was moving into Disney World by the way he lights up and gets excited.

On the adoption front, we have gotten the dossier instructions from the agency. Our homestudy needs to be updated, but not that much. I have requested my dossier back from the agency because they have all of my original documents some of which I could re-use instead of spending tons more money on new ones. I have yet to hear if this is possible.

Crack this

I took baby M to a chiropractor the other day. Why you ask? I was/am at wits end with what to do with this child. From one day to the next it's a complete mystery which I love for the most part, but really only on a good nights sleep. Recently I have been seeing every hour on the clock at night with him. He doesn't particularly want to eat, just be held. He is now sleeping in our bed as well. Not my preference, but seemingly the only choice. I can just roll him on his side when he begins to fuss and pat his butt rather than dragging my tired butt out of bed and rocking him endlessly in the chair just to do it again in another hour. So, I'll try anything to help this baby sleep. She adjusted his back in hopes that it would do wonders. Well that night he woke only to eat. A small victory in my opinion. We have discovered that we are parenting "attachment style" with him. I have also learned that this is the way to do it with an adopted child. Baby M is preparing us to parent an adopted child. If anyone denies seeing God's hand in this whole story, I beg to differ. Why did baby M have to come in the midst of our referral? Why couldn't he wait until after the adoption? Why, it was so that we'd know exactly what to do with our daughter from Ethiopia. And by the way, we are getting ready to re-apply to the program. I have asked God to slam the door without question on this adoption if it is not meant to be. So far, full speed ahead.

Could it be?

My child (baby M) has been diagnosed with acid reflux. I have to say I am a bit skeptical simply because many of the features of a high need baby are also symptoms of acid reflux. Fast forward... he has been on zantac for a week with no improvement at all. Improvement would constitute better sleep with longer stretches. Right now we're lucky if he sleeps for more than 2 hours at night without waking. Translation... one tired and crabby mama. I called the Dr. yesterday to update her on the lack of improvement and she prescribed a stronger med (prevacid). I am not expecting this drug to do miracles either, but am willing to try anything for more sleep. A dear friend of mine offered to take baby M yesterday so I could get some sleep. I let her take Flippity instead. He has been neglected through all of this because baby M is so much w0rk. God bless the child's heart for not getting resentful of his brother. Flippity just goes with the flow, and is satisfied with very little entertaining. We try very hard to do things just for him since he is such a good big brother. Flippity and Daddy are going to visit grandma this weekend by themselves. It's such a long car ride and baby M HATES being in the car. Even to go less than a mile to the grocery store we are blessed with his ear-piercing shrill. Sigh. I don't know how to handle this kid, but I'm learning new things daily.

Diagnosis...

I have 'diagnosed' or 'labeled' baby M as a 'high-need baby'.

This includes things like: needs to be held all the time and in constant motion, hates being confined (swaddled, carseat), demands (by high pitched screaming) whatever he wants, erratic sleep (not a good napper), and various other 'features'. I was at my wits end the other day with him. I threw my hands up and begged for help. We walked around the block the other morning at 3:00 am in the baby carrier, nonetheless. The whole time I was crying and begging God for help. We thought there was something wrong (medically) with him. He drains my energy daily with his demanding demeanor. Now that I have a label for him and understand that there is nothing wrong with him, I feel much better. I believe that God will give me the strength I need to deal with him. I know I am not spoiling him by carrying him all the time, it's what he needs. It makes it all less frustrating to know that it's just his personality. It doesn't, however, make it easier to be sleep deprived but that's what you get with kids. Stay tuned for more exciting updates.

Risking life and limb....literally

Well, The Big Guy has returned.... by the grace of God. If anybody is familiar with the Boundary Waters / Canada this time of year, you would know that now it is snowing. Which most of us can figure out puts the temperatures in the high 20's. Interpretation - it's cold. Highlights of a trip like this include

1. Packing as light as you can because everything you bring you must also carry.
2. Driving 10+ hours to get there in the middle of the night.
3. Sitting in an aluminum fishing boat for 4 hours so you can be dumped in your canoe out in the middle of (only you and God know).
4. There is NO communication between you and civilization until your return (keep in mind if you get hurt in the middle of nowhere, you must be able to fend for yourself- completely). I don't know about you but I'm pretty sure if I broke a limb and had to canoe hours upon hours to get help I'd be dead.
5. You must carry a canoe plus 80 pounds of gear on your back while hiking through the woods and climbing over trees and whatnot to find a campsite or the next lake.

So after a week of fun like this, the guys headed back to the pick up point to be towed 4 hours back to the outfitter when a huge wave tipped the canoe and all the gear. Thank God they all were wearing life vests. Long story short they floated in 50 degree water for 90 minutes to get to shore. Hypothermia had set in and thankfully nobody lost consciousness. Somebody happened to be headed back as well and saw this all take place and went to get help. They were eventually rescued, but if you have ever watched Survivorman you might have seen a scene like theirs. Stripped down to their skivvies in 20 degree weather huddled around a cook stove and shaking violently. He's back and it scared the boy a bit. Needless to say, there will be no more camping trips like this. So yay we both survived the week. I'd rather take my chances with two kids.

From the land of sanity

Curiously enough, both boys have been relatively good this week. We had a couple of days of crabbiness out of Baby M, but not bad. My dad came for a visit during the worst of his days, you would know. He seems to get feisty when company comes, probably because he's over stimulated. Flippity has been his typical 4 year old self. Pushing the limits of everything. He's so independent almost to a fault. We both have similar personalities which is proving to be a bit of a challenge. Maybe it's just because I'm the mom. The first day of school was today for Flippity. Baby M and I had to go chasing all over God's green earth to get The Big Guy's paycheck which was supposed to be direct deposited in our account last Friday. Long story short, the paycheck is MIA and so his hospital had to reluctantly cut another one for me. It may be just me, but I was under the impression that most of us actually NEED our paychecks on payday for things such as, oh I don't know, mortgage and car payments! So here's to a good week of sanity for me! 3 days to go.

Why Oh Why....

Won't my baby sleep? It's not that the night time sleep is such a problem, it's just that he won't nap. And not only that he won't nap, he also won't be allowed out of anyones arms for more than 30 seconds before screaming his head off. Of course I am the one who is around most of the time, so it is I that is glued to Baby M all. day. long. Some say just let him cry. I don't do crying babies. I've never been able to handle the screaming for long. I will do whatever it takes (appropriately of course) to stop a baby from crying. If you ask my mother and everyone else over the age of 50, I am spoiling him by holding him all the time. My opinion is that you cannot spoil a baby, some just like to be held more than others. Some like to sleep more than others. Some drive you nuts more than others. And the icing on the cake is that in 6 days The Big Guy is leaving for a boundary waters camping extravaganza FOR 10 DAYS! I doubt if sanity is even possible by the end (for me that is). I look forward to the days end when the X-Terra is pulling into the driveway and I can hand off Baby M to an adoring daddy. Now I won't have that for 10 DAYS! For the love, does anyone have any suggestions? Some days it's this cuteness that keeps my sanity.

Baby M and Flippity

Here's my wall of portraits so far, might be kind of hard to see but the flash put too much of a glare on the glass. Baby M is doing great, we had our first sleep through the night episode the other night. Unfortunately, it was only once, but I have high hopes that this child WILL sleep through the night routinely before he is 2. By the way, the child on the Left is Flippity, and the child on the Right (of course) is baby M.

My Boys

One of my favorite pictures so far...

Onward Ethiopia

The decision has been made (as if it was a hard one). We are going to pursue the adoption later this year. Apparently (without notifying us of course) our agency had recently changed it's policy about closing adoption cases during a pregnancy. They thought it didn't seem quite fair to the family. Gee ya think? So we'll get to save ourselves around $3,000 with the updated homestudy and fee that we don't have to re-pay the agency. I think we had initially laid down $5,000 when we found out about Baby M, so this is a good thing.

And for all those who love a sleeping baby...

My heart still aches

One would think that having a new baby would give you some sort of satisfaction (at least temporarily) in the absence of the adoption. Wrong. Baby M has filled a place in my heart that needed to be filled in the worst way. He has filled a place in my heart that no one else ever could. But he is not a substitution for adopting. My mind has never left that place, and my heart certainly hasn't. We were told to contact our agency when our baby was born so they could close out our adoption file. Close out the file, to me, means closure on the process. Shutting the door, for now, on a dream that will someday (hopefully) come true. So, I e-mailed our contact at the agency and told her that we would like to revisit adopting in the future. She replied with 'we don't have to close your file, we can keep you on hold as long as you are considering adopting in the near future. This will eliminate you having to pay $xxxx.xx. You can start the application process when your baby is 3 months old.'

Jaw dropping. Eyes welling with tears. This is a hard decision. Maybe completely irresponsible, but we spent all of the adoption $ on a new truck for the Big Guy. We never expected, or should I say, were never told that this was an option. In fact, I was told by the same lady that none of the $ that we'd spent on the adoption could be recovered, and we would have to start at square one. The plan, after resolving ourselves to the fact that this wouldn't happen for several years, was to buy the truck (instead of dumping thousands of dollars into the old one), and save the next 2 years worth of tax returns for the adoption. That would put us 2.5 years down the road for adopting. But now with this info placed at our feet, it would mean less cost all around. An updated homestudy instead of a brand new one, updated fingerprints, mostly updated paperwork altogether. Less cost. Holy crap, 2 small children. How does one make a decision like this?

And some baby goodness for you all to enjoy:
Born 5-16-07
One month old
Baby M and Flippity

Home at Last!

Hallelujia, we are home! Here's the story... The amnio was scheduled for May 16. The day before, the Big Guy and Flippity visited me late at the hospital. I don't know if it was the thought of the test the next day, but as they were leaving I broke down and sobbed in the Big Guys arms for awhile. I just couldn't control the emotional intensity of it all anymore. That night I went to bed scared and sad. I missed my family and just wanted to go home. Every shift at the hospital, the nurses come in and take a blood pressure, and flush the IV line. My nurse came in that night at midnight. She asked me if there was anything new, and I said contractions that have a burning or tearing sensation with them. I didn't think anything of it because they shrugged off all the contractions I had up to that point. She said it was to be expected so far into the pregnancy and it was probably just my round ligament stretching. So, anyway after she left I got up to go to the bathroom and had the much feared gush of blood hemmorage that struck panic into the hearts of all that were working. I called for the nurse and several came running in. I immediately called the Big Guy at home and told him the baby was coming. He rushed to the hospital in record time. Through the whole ordeal baby M was fine and had a good heartrate, so although it was emergent, it wasn't exactly life threatning. I was wheeled down to the OR around 1:30 am. The anesthesiologist allowed the Big Guy to come into the surgery. He is a nurse so he's comfortable around these kinds of siutations. Having him with me kept me from sobbing uncontrollably. I was put out right away, they didn't stick anything into my body until I was out. Thank the Lord #1 for allowing me not to feel all the intrusive procedures. Baby M was born at 1:50 am 7 lb 12 oz. Thank the Lord #2 for a healthy baby. He was perfect, no need for a trip to the NICU. As I was being awakened in the recovery room, the nurse said they didn't have to take your uterus. Thank the Lord #3 for small favors! All in all everything went much better than planned. The first day or so the pain was pretty bad, but with a drug induced haze I got through it fine. I finally got to come home this past Sunday. The baby is doing great, I may post some pictures soon when I have the ambition.

Down and Out

The inevitable bleeding has now begun. I awoke at 4:00 a.m. on Thursday (5-3) to a small bleeding episode. The Big Guy rushed me to the hospital and here I sit. The bleeding has pretty much subsided, but I am here until baby M is born. The surgery is still scheduled for 5-17 unless another bleeding episode occurs. I may not be able to post much here, but I will let everyone know what happens eventually. I am not bound to the bed, but I cannot leave the floor I am on. So, theres a lot of reading and T.V. watching going on. It isn't really as bad as it may seem, but I can't go outside until I leave the hospital. We had another ultrasound yesterday and baby M is already 6 pounds 9 oz! We can expect he will be another 1/2 pound next week at delivery. So, I'll post details when I can.

Holding my breath

I feel like I am holding my breath waiting for something to happen. We saw the Dr. yesterday and he said 'just expect, at any time, that you will start to bleed'. Yeah, that makes me feel like going to the mall or the grocery store. We do have a scheduled date for the C-Section - May 17. Of course it is pending on the previous day's amniocentesis. Not really sure how I feel about that. I know I am freaking out at the concrete date staring me in the face on the calendar. It's obvious that the baby must be born and we know exactly how it's going to happen, it's just that it now seems like it's time to walk the walk. All the talking's done and it's time to face the music. Yeah I'm freaking out! I play out the events of the surgery in my mind several times per day, and it's always scary. I have never had a surgery, general anesthesia, or much pain to speak of in my life. The Big Guy calls me 'warrior woman' from the delivery of Flippity, and of course that hurts but you're up and around immediately following that. I fear the pain. And here's a list of the things that scare me the most:

1. Amniocentesis
2. Urinary catheter
3. Epidural
4. Arterial line
5. Stomach being stapled shut (the after pain)
6. Whatever the lack of a uterus feels like and the internal repairs that must be made

Of course it's best to walk into this situation completely prepared and no suprises, but I would rather have it go down emergently so I don't have to dwell on it for the next 3 weeks (selfish I know).

Enough of my pity party for now. I'll let you know when I feel like celebrating again.

Hidden Blessings

I've come to realize in the past few days that my life is full of blessings. Not that I didn't realize this before, but sometimes we just need to open our eyes in the middle of a storm and stand still. If we can all just shut up for a minute we can hear God speaking to us, and what He says is very comforting. First lets visit the fact that the adoption didn't exactly work out. I was told once by someone that 'God must think you're a pretty good mom to boys, and that's why you're getting another one.' Perhaps I'm not ready, yet, for raising a girl. I may just need a feisty little boy to practice on first! Second, all the problems that have arisen during this pregnancy. The problems themselves are not quite a blessing, but it does make me thankful that I was able to experience the process one last time. The fact that I remain asymptomatic with the placenta previa is a miracle to more than just myself. The Dr. was indeed suprised at this as well - hidden blessing. The sheer size of the baby - a placenta previa baby at that - hidden blessing. I ran into a friend yesterday that gave birth 8 weeks early to her son. He is still in the NICU 3 weeks after birth. He was 3 pounds at birth and can't suck. I am so blessed that this baby is not trying to get out, and he is so big. Third, I have a fantastic family. The big guy is a week from finishing his clinicals for good, then he's done with school. He will be home all week long! Flippity is such a good helper and easy child to deal with - a bonus when hormones are raging.

Sometimes He calms the storm with a whispered 'peace be still'
He can settle any sea, but it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close
And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm, and other times He calms His child.

-Scott Krippayne

One day at a time

We had an ultrasound and a visit to the Dr. this week. I am at week 31 yay! The baby is measuring at 33 weeks and is already 4.5 pounds. The Dr., quite frankly, is a bit suprised that I remain asymptomatic with the placenta previa. Statistically, something should go down within the next couple of weeks, according to her. So we decided that if she gets in to do the C-section and sees the placenta not detaching the way it should, she's going ahead with the hysterectomy. I know, some might say 'save the uterus' or 'it's your identity as a woman'. I really am more interested in not bleeding to death or being under general anesthesia forever while the surgeons try to be heroes, ultimately ending in a hysterectomy anyway. The ovaries will remain untouched (hormone production), and really the function of the uterus is to house babies and bleed. It seems logical to me that if I am not going to ever give birth again (no way after all this), and I can get rid of a monthly period at the same time, why not just do it!? I do get to have a pretty vertical scar on my belly though, hopefully not making my belly look like a big butt (but again, lets focus on the big picture... survival). So stay tuned for the updates, any day now....

Happy Good Friday

How many of you out there remembered it was good Friday today? The day that Jesus was crucified to save us from our sins. A sad, and glorious day all wrapped into one. Happy Good Friday everyone!

No gestational diabetes (this is a good Friday).

Glucose is not my friend

I took the 3 hour glucose tolerance test today. At least they had the orange flavor versus the disgusting cola. 100 grams of glucose to drink in 5 minutes. I totally expect the test to come back that I have gestational diabetes. How could it not? My luck so far with this pregnancy has been pretty bad. While sitting at the Dr.'s office for 3 hours, I was able to get undisturbed studying done which was great. And another plus is that the lady drawing the blood did a good job, which means that the 4 needle sticks were a success. Usually phlebotomists in clinics are not so good (no offense to anybody). Results of this test should come back in a few days, I'm really in no hurry to find out. I'll post it when I know.

Blog Change

I just had to update the blog template. Everytime I go in it feels so depressing with the darkness of it. So here's something more uplifting to look at.

MRI Results

We saw the Dr. on Friday evening. The radiologist who read the MRI said that she doesn't think that the placenta has entered the bladder. However, the placenta has breeched the uterine wall making the outcome of this whole thing still unknown. I am very glad that it doesn't appear to be part of the bladder, making a bladder repair less likely. I am still very nervous because the situation is still far from safe. The surgery still has to be done in a regular OR with a gynecologic oncologist there to do the uterine repair (if it is indeed salvageable). There will still probably be a massive blood loss, and the need for a transfusion. I will still need to have an arterial line during the surgery. She said she will shoot for the C-Section to be done sometime the week of May 14, however she also said that she would be doing the happy dance if I could stay pregnant that long. She thought that, in her experience, we would be most likely doing an emergency C-Section at some point. Still no hospitalized bed rest unless any bleeding starts. And one more thing to add to the pile - the 1 hour glucose tolerance test was abnormal, so in I go to do the 3 hour procedure. Apparently anybody whose blood sugar is above 140 needs to have the 3 hour gtt done. My blood sugar... 142

Will somebody throw me a bone here? Anybody?

Mini update

So we talked to the Dr. on Tuesday, the MRI is scheduled for March 23 (next week). She said I will have the C-Section the week of May 14 sometime (pending a positive outcome of the amniocentesis). I don't have to do any bedrest unless I start bleeding. I will update next week after I know more.

Ultrasound news

I had the ultrasound today that would determine whether or not I get an MRI. Well, I'm having an MRI. Not sure when, we need to go talk to the OB tomorrow and schedule it. The placenta looks like it has moved up a bit, just not enough to uncover the cervix. DEFINITE C-Section. I guess I have been prepared for this. The Dr. that read the U/S today said, "for you this should just be a birth. Let us do all the worrying." WHAT!? How can anybody go into this with puppies and flowers hazing their view? She did say that even if the MRI shows no invasion beyond the uterus with blood vessels, the C/S will still be done in a regular OR with all specialists on hand. Basically the situation has alerted them enough to be sceptical of the crazy placenta that when they cut me open they will be prepared for anything.

On a fun note, The Big Guy bought a new Nissan X-Terra today. More room for travelling with 2 kids. Yay!

So here's the new info...

2 Weeks ago we met with an OB to discuss the outcome of this placenta percreta. She was very encouraging that I would survive it (my biggest fear). She did say that only the MRI can provide us with the information that we need to know (if indeed the placenta is invading the bladder wall). So we will have another U/S in 2 weeks and probably an MRI to follow. If it is the placenta percreta then I will have a hysterectomy, it's really the only way one can survive a surgery of this magnitude. The baby will be born around week 35, barring any other complications, regardless if it is a percreta or not (due to the placenta previa). I will need a bladder repair, due to the lack of a bladder wall after the hysterectomy. As you can imagine, the recovery will be longer due to the intensity of the surgery. So, if God can move mountains and create human life, then indeed he can provide a bladder wall for me in the next 2 weeks. At least that is what our prayer is for. Stay tuned...

Oh it just keeps getting better and better!

Pardon my sarcasm please... anyone ever heard of placenta accreta? How about it's most dangerous form placenta percreta? That's right folks another star to add to my banner. Of course we won't know for certain at least for another month until an MRI is performed. Basically what it boils down to (that's if I really have this, and they're pretty sure I do) is the placenta invading the bladder wall with blood vessels, so there is no distinguishable border between the two. What does this mean for me? An early planned c-section done under general anesthesia, most likely a hysterectomy, and a bladder repair. See, when the placenta detaches or is removed from the wall that the uterus and bladder now share, massive bleeding can occur. No harm whatsoever to the baby, just born a bit early. All I really wanted to do was get on an airplane and travel to Ethiopia to pick up my baby, I didn't order any of this. So here I am standing out in the middle of nowhere saying to MY GOD, 'dude, what's the point of all this?' I'm sure there's a reason, I may never know what it is. He doesn't usually walk you to the brink of insanity and not have a good reason for it. I do need to trust that this will all work out just as planned. I know it's in His hands. So, if anybody out there is the praying type please say one for me. I need it.

Better News

After talking to the midwife last week, she said that we need not be so concerned with the placenta previa until week 32. She told us it has until then to get out of the way before they're sure it would be a C-section. Bedrest was my biggest fear because I am taking a class right now that is very hard, and I don't want to have to take it over because I can't show up. Of course the main concern is always the baby, and what's best for him, but I just wish I could catch a break in this whole situation.

So we are on week 22, and I feel good (not to mention fat). I am gaining too much weight again, but I don't know how to stop myself. I'm eating much better than I did with Flippity, but still packing it on. Somebody help!

My Baby Girl is Still in Ethiopia

We found out today that we are having a boy which means that our girl is still in Ethiopia. I kind of had a feeling that this might be the case. At any rate, we have some shopping to do. The other thing we found out is that I have placenta previa. Not something I expected at all. The Dr. told us that it is the kind that will not likely move out of the way, so a C-Section is inevitable. We have to go in every 4 weeks to monitor the growth of the baby, and the position of the placenta. At this point he said that the baby looks great and the growth is right on target. I don't feel great about being fillayed (sp?) open or the possible bed rest that often accompanies this kind of problem. Not easy to lie in a bed when you have a 4 year old in 2 different pre-schools and a husband that is gone all of the time due to school and work. Perhaps we're putting the cart before the horse, but I like to be prepared emotionally for the worst case scenario. The placenta previa usually isn't a problem unless bleeding occurs (which is common in the late 2nd trimester.) Stay tuned for the drama to follow (hopefully there's not much.)

Almost Halfway... Again

We just passed the week 18 mark of the pregnancy. Almost halfway. I am hoping that since Flippity was born 3 weeks early at a whopping 8 lb 6 oz this baby will be a bit early too. We will find out the sex of the baby in 2 weeks, which I can hardly wait for. It's hard to go full board in baby mode for so long and then come to a screeching halt, and stare at your creations and unfinished projects while more waiting ensues. According to the message boards for our adoption agency, we would have been very close to a referral right about now. We still can't wait to pursue the adoption in the future. As far as the baby goes, I am just starting to feel some very faint movements, and my belly is not that big yet. The heart rate of the baby is fast, which I have been told, indicates a girl. I'll beleive it when I see it. I still have some bad days of indigestion/nausea, not as many as before but probably once per week. They are much more managable than they were before (although, don't ask my husband about that). So stay tuned to find out if this little one is a GIRL or a boy.