Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is my favorite "food" holiday of the whole year. Stuffing, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, you know the usual. Well not this year, sister. Nausea, nausea, nausea. Why, oh, why does it have to hit at dinnertime on Thanksgiving day!? I am so tired of feeling sick. The only time of the whole day that I feel awesome is when I wake up in the morning and am laying on my back in bed. After I get up, it's usually down hill. Sure there are times of the day when I feel alright, but never a whole day goes by that I don't feel rotten at least for a little while.

Well, enough whining. As far as I know the baby is doing fine. She hasn't told me otherwise, so we'll go with that. In 2 weeks it's back to the midwife for another check. I think The Big Guy and I will find out the sex of the baby on this one. I'm not a big fan of knowing before the birth, but we are completely ready for a baby girl. I want to have something ready if it is a boy. I have nothing gender neutral because we'd been preparing for a baby girl. And, no, I don't wan't to just use the stuff I made for my girl "because the baby won't know the difference". The things I made are for MY GIRL. Whether I give birth to her or adopt her, that stuff is for HER. I wouldn't treat a boy any different as far as the special things I buy or make for him, so we'd like to know the sex.

If anyone has any suggestions about nausea, please feel free to comment about them. At this point I am willing to try anything that's legal.

So Close, yet So Far

Well, I haven't posted for quite some time and it's because there have been lots of things going on in my life. The Big Guy and I found out recently that I am pregnant. Almost 11 weeks at this point. This, of course, puts a halt to the adoption plans (not necessarily by my choice, but the agency policy). I've been nauseated almost every day for the past 3 weeks if not all day, at least for several hours.

It's a big change to go from feeling great and knowing that your referral is just around the corner to feeling like crap and knowing that you are not getting a referral at all. There's been lots of tears and sadness to mourne the "loss" of my Ethiopian baby. With that said, I also embrace the plans that God has for us. Obviously He knows what He's doing, and how can anybody argue with the master plan? Sometimes we're led down a road and we stand there saying "what was the point of this?" Well, this is one of those times for me. I know someday we will pursue the Ethiopian adoption, I just don't know when. I'm really not ready to let it go, but I don't have a choice.

So, although, this is now my pregnancy journey I am still leaving the title as is. This is still our journey through adoption because I am not closing the door on it at all. And even though this is a bit of a delay in the process I know it must be for good reason.