Embarking on Week 17

"I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me

(this song is obviously about Jesus, but when I hear it I can easily imagine these thoughts running through my mind the first time we lay eyes on our daughter).


I can only imagine
what it will be like
when I walk by your side

I can only imagine
what my eyes will see
when your face is before me

Surrounded by your glory
what will my heart feel
will I dance for you Jesus
or in awe of you be still

Will I stand in your presence
or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine...

(it always brings tears to my eyes)

Knowledge of the unknown

As I was sitting in chuch today and praying for my daughter, I got a premonition that she's been born. I don't know when but I have an overwhelming feeling that she's here! I may be eating these words in a matter of months, but I have prayed for God to allow me to feel her presence when she is born.

The cup is half full

The time is just flying by (only when I look back on it, of course). 15 weeks down and hopefully the journey is halfway accomplished. The courts close tomorrow, I thought it would never come. The beauty of it (if there is any) is that in 2 months we'll be back on the edge of our seats with anticipation. At least we can all take a breather from the stress of "getting in" before the court closure. I am waiting until September to paint the room and put the finishing touches on it. I don't think I can bare to have it sitting empty waiting for our daughter for too long. I don't think we'll put the crib up until the referral comes. I KNOW I can't bare to see an empty crib sitting there day after day.

The remainder of this original post has been deleted due to the misinterpretation of my thoughts. Let's all remember that what we read in cyberspace is completely one dimensional, so it is easy to read text and not know anything about the person or real feelings behind it.

Don't make any plans

Unfortunately we have just found out that the wait times are more likely going to be closer to 8 months for us now than the previously thought 7. It does get frustrating that every month that goes by another is added. It feels like we can't catch up, we think we're getting ahead when in fact we are in the same boat we thought we were a month ago. At what point are we going to be on the other side of waiting? We keep climbing the hill and the top is no where in sight. I really am O.K. with the waiting, because I know it is serving a purpose. I know there is nothing that can be done about it, and I am thrilled that it's all due to more and more people adopting from Ethiopia. It just would be nice to know a more concrete time frame, but I guess that is the nature of the beast. It's all unknown.

Summer Rocks!

My sister and I successfully made it to and from the Bon Jovi concert in Chicago this past weekend. Here's a little slice of heaven for us all to enjoy:













We'd finish out the world tour with him if money and time permitted! I think we all probably feel that way (even a little bit). Bon Jovi ROCKS!!

We saw a good movie this weekend dealing with the HIV situation in Africa, and the very reason why so many children are abandoned from the disease. The movie is called Yesterday, it's very good. Other than that not much to report other than we have hit the 3 month mark for waiting. Yay for us.

12 weeks of waiting

We had the pleasure of enjoying a family wedding this past weekend. The Big Guy's brother got married. It was very hot, but we all had a good time. Friday, my sister and I are off to a Bon Jovi concert in Chicago. We saw him in January in Minneapolis and we had a blast. We are now wondering if we are considered groupies or not...hmmm? We can only dream.

Week 11 and doing well

It's a good thing the summer months are filled with activity. It really keeps my mind off the waiting (not the child though). Time seems to be going by quickly.

Plans for the summer:

1. Family wedding
2. Bon Jovi concert!
3. The Big Guy's birthday
4. Wisconsin Dells
5. Lake house vacation
6. Painting the baby room

Before you know it the courts will re-open and we'll be back in the running for a referral. It has been a very good last couple of weeks for referrals through our agency, and I hope it continues up until the court closure. Several people are travelling to pick up their children in a couple of weeks which will make room for new children waiting for families. We are so blessed to be adopting!

Awesome Referral Week!

Not for us of course, but there were 4 referrals so far this week at our agency! 2 boys and 2 girls, all infants. It feels so good to move up the list 4 slots. There are most definitely more people that are not on the message boards that I read daily that have also gotten referrals, so I can only go by the info posted in cyberspace! Prayers to all those who have received referrals.

Second Trimester

Just entering week 10 today. I'm assuming (perhaps enthusiastically) that we are now transitioning into the "second trimester" of waiting. I hope this doesn't mean weight gain and mood swings. I don't think I could handle another 50 pound weight gain! That is also the glory of adopting you don't HAVE to gain weight, it's optional. My option: not gonna do it.

We had a fabulous weekend which was centered around my grandma Lois turning 80. I hope I am as beautiful as she is when I turn 80. She had a huge party with a great turnout of people. It's a great testimony of your life when you have that many people that still love you so much.

I am keeping my time full of my son, and spending some quality time with him doing fun things. Some of our adventures last week included fishing with wrenches with string attatched (he has an amazing imagination) and driving his "truck" around the block as I was a passenger in his boat. We successfully lauched our boat into the "water" and caught several large fish - strictly catch and release. Hopefully this week's adventures will be just as exciting.

Kids are so darn cute

As Flippity and I were sitting outside today I looked up in the sky and saw a motorized hanglider flying around. I said, "look Flippity, up in the sky." He got really excited and said, "It's Jesus!" We should have been so lucky! Just thought I'd share.

Epiphany

Just as I am grumbling about all the waiting for a referral it dawns on me how many Ethiopian orphans must be being adopted. If all these children are being placed in a "better" situation in life, it only makes sense that this generation of children could quite possibly be the ones who change the face of Ethiopia. If they are all brought up in a better lifestyle and have a better education than they could have gotten in their birth country, it should be empowering to them to be able to make a difference for Ethiopia in the future. Are all of us adopting parents ready for that!? What a great and abundant life we have!

Week 9

I get to cross off another number on my calendar! 9 weeks of waiting. I am nervous for the court closures. For those of you that do not know about that it is a 6 week (or so) period in Ethiopia where the courts shut down, due to the rainy season I am told. I feel like things are coming to a halt. It's very uplifting to see referrals happening, and when that is gone, I think all of us waiting will be on edge.

When we started this process we thought for sure we'd have a baby by the end of the summer, what "they" forgot to tell us was that the courts close down for 6 weeks. I have been told that referrals can still be made, just none of the paperwork can be processed. I have tried to mentally prepare myself for longer and longer wait times. When we first sat in the social worker's office to discuss adoption, she told us that the first Ethiopian adoption that she did took (from decision to adopt to baby home) 3 months! That's what I was sure would be our story, little did I know what was going on behind the scenes: more and more people being added to the waiting list on every adoption agency's list.

I know I didn't drag my heels getting anything done, and most of the time was waiting for paperwork at the mercy of others. But, as it turns out, people that have been waiting since Dec. 2005 are still waiting, so nothing really would have changed if we would had made the decision any sooner.

Ask any adopting parent how the wait is, whether it's 2 months or 2 years, the answer will always be: EXCRUCIATING! So the beginning of this week I am feeling a little on edge about all of it. I wish I had Anne's Emote-o-meter!

An Adoption Poem

This is my favorite poem that I found online

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call mother.
Two different lives shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first one gave you life; and the second taught you to live it.
The first one gave you a need for love; the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality. The other gave you a name.
One gave you a talent. The other gave you aim.
One gave you emotions. The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile. The other dried your tears.
One sought for you a home that she could not provide.
The other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.
And now you ask me, through your tears, the age-old question unanswered through the years-
Heredity or environment, which are you a product of?
Neither, my darling, neither. Just two different kinds of love.

Unknown author

O.K. We're ready

The Big Guy and I just finished watching an adoption story about a couple adopting a little girl from Ethiopia, through tears of course. How can we possibly be expected to wait 5 more months? Is it humanly possible? 5 months is an eternity (as was 7, 2 months ago). I can't complain (o.k. maybe I can) about the wait because China adoptions are taking 2 years! Domestic adoptions- forget it, you'd be retired by the time you were matched with a family! I have always lived in a predominantly white community and color was obvious to me. I am slowly turning the corner to seeing the person, not the color. I suppose when this transition is complete is when it will be our turn.

Just Keep Busy

We've just rounded the 8 week waiting mark (hooray!) for our child. One week closer to our baby girl. There has only been a couple of referrals this week for people on my message board, but a couple is better than none. I am trying to keep busy by making things for the baby's room. I feel like I'm flying through these projects, and I better slow down. I hurt my back last week, so that has put a halt to the excercise program. I just ordered wallpaper for the bedroom, so it's slowly getting there. When I stand back and think of all that needs to be done yet, I realize there is so much. Most people who have just received referrals are saying to get it all done before you get a referral, because when it comes there's a whole new frenzie of things to do. I am at an amazing sense of peace this week about the adoption. I know our daughter isn't born yet because I can't feel it (or at least that's what I keep telling myself). So far the weeks of waiting are flying by, and as long as I don't completely obsess over the referral the time is sure to pass quickly. I'm sure in future posts you will notice that my mind is transforming into that of a deranged lunatic. Until then...

The Wait (a letter to my daughter)

I have been told to enjoy the wait. This is an extremely hard thing to do in the realm of the unknown. The unknown being: When will you be born? When will we meet you? And who will you be? I believe that God knows the answer to all these things and I trust that in His time we will too. I find comfort in knowing that God decides these things for us rather than us choosing for ourselves. So I thank Him everyday for the wait knowing that we will end up with the most perfect baby girl for our family. Do I enjoy the wait? No. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It stretches my faith and my patience in ways I never thought possible. I'm trying to keep my mind busy by journaling my feelings, and making things for you. Right now I long for you, I miss you, and I have an empty void in my heart for you. I love you and I don't even know you. I can't wait to meet you, but I have to. So as we face more of a wait I'll lean on God to pull me through and give me strength until I can meet you.

History of the adoption

Let me back up and tell our story of how we came to this point in our lives. When we got pregnant with Flippity, we felt that the world was right. The natural progression of a family was taking place and we were delighted. Everyone kept telling us that we shouldn't wait so long to have another one. I wanted the children to be spread apart by 3+ years. So just before Flippity turned 2 we started trying again. When the trying turned into a year, we went to seek help. The conclusion was that the Dr.s didn't know what the problem was and could only label us as infertile because there was no explanation for the situation. We tried fertility meds, and when my heart had been broken for the last time through that process I said ENOUGH!!

I had never really considered adoption at all until we started having these problems. I feel like God has been telling us for awhile that we were to adopt, we just weren't listening (or we had to take these steps to get here). When He was finally screaming in our ears "YOU WILL ADOPT FROM ETHIOPIA" we started listening. It didn't take me long to fall in love with the idea or the children there. We filled out the application for adoption on January 24, 2006. We had our final homestudy on February 15, 2006, and we had our I171-H form back by April 24, 2006.

The progression of the process has been easy, quick, and we have really had no bumps in the road so far. I know I shouldn't be waiting by the phone since we've only been waiting 7 weeks, and we are facing a wait of 7 months, but I can't help but hold my breath every time I answer the phone. I do feel that our child will come into our lives when God is ready to put her here. So until then...

The Beginnings of the Excruciating Wait

I keep telling myself I will NOT become one of those neurotic, emotionally unstable, waiting by the phone people waiting for a referral. Too late. I find myself comforted by the belief that the exact child that was meant to be mine will be when the time is right. I am going under the assumption that she is just not born yet. I feel that this assumption just keeps me grounded in the long wait that is facing us. Who knows how long it will be. Recent talk is that it will take at least 7 months by the time we get our referral.