Wow!

10 days until we leave the US. Scary thought. I can't stop and dwell on it for long because it puts panic in my heart. I am leaving my boys, and that's hard to do. I have not been away from Licks really ever. He is 2. I know they'll be fine, but will I? My greatest fear is that Baby G will not like me. I fear her rejection. We have loved her for so long, and we are only mere strangers to her. She loves the nannies and they love her. How must they feel allowing these strange people to come in and swoop up these kids they have raised for so long? It is truly God's work that these amazing women are doing. I still feel like none of this is real. How can this be happening? We have been "doing" this for so long, and it is about to end/begin.

On a lighter note... we have too much weight. There is a 15lb weight limit on Ethiopian Airlines for the carry-on luggage. The suitcase alone weighs 5lb. Did you ever hear the saying "you can't shove 10lbs of crap in a 5lb bag" ? Well, yes you can and more. I think I will be searching for something lighter. I must. I am looking at this as a challenge that I can defeat.

It's Settled!

We will be leaving to get baby G on June 6 and arriving back in the US on June 13. 1 week earlier than I expected, but I'll take it. The flights are booked. The packing almost done. Waiting on donations of formula, but we'll purchase it if necessary. We are taking 32+ cans of formula in 2 Rubbermaid totes, and 1 Rubbermaid tote filled with diapers and wipes. I am going to throw up now.

It Doesn't Make a Difference...

If I find out in the next 30 seconds or 3 days when we get to travel to get baby G. But, I'd sure like to know right this second. Seems like we're constantly being asked to wait just a little longer than everyone else for some reason. We know what group # we're in. We know how many people are in our group. We just need a date to leave. I hate things looming over me. If I can do it - I want it done. All of the pieces of the puzzle are complete except this little, yet very monumental, piece of info. Most people at our agency get a travel date the day after they pass court. We are now going on 5 days. AND day 5 is quickly drawing to a close. I know they just need to secure an Embassy date for us and I know what the next possible one is - I just want a confirmation. I want to spend my money on plane tickets. I want to deplete the adoption account. I am so tired of waiting...

Just when you hit another low....

The rollercoster takes a crank and shoots you right back to the top. Hopefully this ride is over. We have passed court today! Hooray, hooray, horray! Baby G is legally our child, although she has been in our hearts for the last 4 years. We don't know when we will travel yet, but it will likely be in about 4 weeks. Soooo much to do. The Big Guy looks at the stuff I have laid out to pack and he just can't believe we will need all those things. This is the man who could live the movie Castaway and be fine with it. Some of us more civilized human beings actually like to wear clean clothes and deodorant on a regular basis. Oh yeah, here's the little princess...

Hold on a minute!

I'm sure some have heard the recent news of children found abandoned in Addis who have been matched with a family having their court cases put on hold. Baby G is a baby that was abandoned only not in the city of Addis. We don't know how this will affect us, if at all, but we feel pretty confident that we'll be O.K. I just have a sense of peace in my heart about it. I don't know why, but God is telling me we won't be included in this mess. There are investigations that will have to take place surrounding all of these said cases to make sure that they were truly abandoned children. Of course we want the most ethical circumstances permeating throughout this adoption, and so should everyone else. So, once again if it takes longer to get her - so be it. She is ours and we are hers and God is directing the whole sequence of events.

Time

Has it really been 2 months since our referral for baby G? I have to admit time has not stood still. In part, because I am in school - a great distractor by the way - and there is so much to do. I feel like we'll be running around like crazy peeps when we finally get travel news. There has been quite the lull at our agency for court dates so hopefully within the next couple weeks somebody will hear something. On a fun side note - we've made the switch to cloth diapers. I have been through 2 in disposables and decided that 2 in diapers at the same time would nearly kill us financially so we did it. I put baby M in them right away (baby M will now be referred to as Licks until further notice). I really, really like them. It is not hard to handle them at all. I am washing them myself. The Big Guy was concerned that since we can't keep up with laundry as is how will we be able to wash diapers? Well, our problem is not washing the clothes it is folding them. Thats what takes the most time (and everybody hates). The cloth diapers do not need to be folded so its easy. Our bathrooms already smell better. I feel like our bathroom smelled like a nursing home even if we emptied and wiped out the garbage can daily.

Speaking of Licks - he will be 2 years old in 2 weeks. I can't even start to wrap my head around having a party for him, although we have a house full of people coming. Where does the time go? Has it really been 4 years since we fell for Ethiopia? I feel like if I stop and blink my eyes 4 more years will fly by:(.

Amazing Photos

We just received some of the most amazing photos of Baby G. She is so beautiful. I want her now. I hope this wait goes by fast. I think it has been taking around 10 weeks for people to get a court date. Passing on the first try is another story. Often people do not pass right away. For some it takes several attempts. Everything has to line up just so in order for it all to go off without a hitch. Something my God can do. I have seen His hand at every turn in the journey, this will be no different. Some who passed court early this week (at our agency) got notice that they travel next week. Seems like once court is passed (at our agency) people travel within a month AT THE MOST. Hopefully the 10 weeks to court date trend continues or speeds up. I hope things DO speed up for those staring down another court closure. Yuck.

Embarrassing

It is so embarrassing and discouraging when someone sends you pictures of a child and asks you if it is your child and you cannot say for sure. The picture is plain as day, but I do not recognize my own child! No, I do not have a brain injury (that I know of). All I have is a picture of her from nearly 3 months ago. We all know how much babies change in the first year of their lives. It is making me sick. Please pray for quick travel for us to get this child before she's a sassy teenager.

On a side note, we constantly say that flippity acts like a teenage girl. I got confirmation from my Dr. last week of such. He asked him to climb up on the table and he did his 'teenage girl' exasperated sigh, and the Dr. said "boy, you sound like a teenage girl". VALIDATION! I am living in the house of drama.

FINALLY! Kobernusz party of 5 please...

We got the call! Yesterday after I put baby M down for a nap I was searching the internet for international pediatricians when I my phone started ringing. It was the 781 area code. I'm sure my voice was shaking when I answered the phone. Here's the conversation:

E: Hi this is E from WH, how are you today
me: I'm fine how are YOU!?
E: Good, I have some good news for you
me: (already in tears) you do?
E: Her name is G and I spent the whole week with her last week. She's beautiful

more information was exchanged, but I won't put it all here.

She's perfect and healthy and gorgeous!

14 months

Pardon my smugness in my last post. Things at the agency seem to have come to a screeching halt. There have been ZERO referrals in February. I don't think this has ever happened before. WHY does this have to happen when we are on top of the list? I know there's going to be lots more waiting ahead of us, but to make some headway would be nice for once. We have never gotten past waiting before. It would be soooooo nice to surpass the point we did last round. Fingerprints have been re-applied for, homestudy updates in the works, and yes the phone IS working after all.

Next please? Who's next?

Oh, that would be us.

You have been cordially invited to a pity party...

Come on and call already! It's not hard, there's just 10 little numbers on the phone to push, anyone can do it. Ring phone ring!

I am not waiting well now. Ever since we were told that we are getting close to a referral, well you know what happens. I didn't want to be this kind of waiter. I want to be occupied, in control, and calm. I wanted the call to catch me completely off guard. I have PLENTY to keep me busy, yet my mind can only focus on getting a referral. For the love of God, there are agencies with waiting babies simply because they don't have enough applicants. Why can't that be our agency? I have been good.

Tomorrow marks the 3 year anniversary of the day we turned our very first application in. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR 3 LONG YEARS! Don't you think it's about time that WE get the call?

Thanks for coming to my party, I have to go check to see if the phone is working properly now.

Who Knows?

I think I was doing better with the adoption wait when I thought that we would be getting a referral at the end of 2009 (the wait times have gone from 17+ months to 13-14 months). I don't know why I told myself this, but I did. Right now we are 4 weeks behind the "next person on the waiting list". There is no rhyme or reason for how fast or slow that referral will come. Now I am a basket case thinking that if 2 or 3 baby girls came into orphanage custody it could be us getting a phone call. Of course, the agency will not let you know how many people stand between you and the "next person on the waiting list". At least school starts again on Monday and hopefully it will keep my wandering mind occupied enough to survive these next couple of months. If things go as they have been we would be getting a call by March. Sooner would be fine with me. I am hoping to travel this summer so we can have some quality time together before 3rd semester nursing school starts. All this assuming, of course, that we would be getting a referral soon. I do know that about 1 month ago we were in the top 20. They would not tell us if we were closer to the top or bottom of the list. I think that every agency worker should be hired only after going through the adoption process themselves so that they would know how aggravating the limited information is. I also understand the lengths we take even tiny bits of information to, and why they have to remain consistent with information they are allowed to give. I just want a fricking referral phone call!

In other news, we had a fabulous time at Disney World. I would not recommend going over Christmas time if you want to get on any rides, but all in all it was a great vacation. We did not get any great pictures, but I will post some when we get them uploaded.

It has been...

Forever since I have posted. We just enjoyed Flippity's 6th birthday. Things are going great. I am almost through the first semester of nursing school. Only 3 more to go...

Disney world next month. I have more pictures to download, but it will have to be another day.

The wait date for the adoption is sloooowly creeping towards us. It seems like things are up in the air in Ethiopia. I can't really say much, but I just hope and pray that everything gets sorted out and the people working in the courts (bless their souls) are able to muddle through the stacks and stacks of court cases awaiting attention. So far there is no news that adoption cases are being heard from our agency. I know that some agencies are moving cases through quickly, but not the case here. I think God has His hand on our child and is holding her until the exact moment He has intended for us. The Big Guy and I went to an adoption seminar a couple weeks ago and all the couples in the room had a different agency. One of them received a referral for an infant within 3 months of turning in paperwork. It is so crazy how the wait times and expedition of cases seems to be so different from agency to agency. I am shooting for a referral sometime between March and May, of course I have nothing to say about it, but one can dream...

Kindergarten!

The first week of kindergarten is complete. Everything went well. I cried. He did not. Good. School has started for me - Yikes! It is sooooo much work. All of my free time is spent studying. I feel guilty doing this right now. The only time I have with Flippity is waking him in the morning and rushing him out the door. They are both asleep when I get home at night. I know it won't be forever and school is so stimulating. I love the school, I hate the being away yet love it at the same time. I feel like I am finally doing something for myself. I know it will benefit the whole family in the end. The Big Guy has really been picking up the slack and doing a great job at it. Baby M is still a crappy sleeper which has been a challenge for quality sleeping purposes. He is doing well with the sitter. He is having to go there 3 hours per day while I go to school. He screams like someone is ripping the heart out of his very chest when I leave him, but he settles down quickly.

Courts are closed in Ethiopia, like every summer. We are still 91/2 months behind the next person on the waiting list. And the next person on the waiting list may be the next person for months. It is just how it all falls. Not in a rush to get a referral. When it happens, the timing will be right (I hope). I think about my Ethiopian baby every day. Hopefully as we move into the next year, and our agency has to get reaccredited in Ethiopia, everything will work out. Please God it has to.

Numb

My hand is numb. Not my left hand, but my right. Not sure why or how long it will last. Very frustrating. I woke up last week and it was numb and remains so as of now. 1 week with a numb hand. I am right handed of course. I don't have carpel tunnel and have never had symptoms of such. I had a sore neck for 2 days and then the hand went numb. It is possibly linked to sit-ups, but the chiropractor is in awe that the treatments haven't relieved the symptoms. Nothing is swollen or painful. The numbness is in the thumb, pointer, middle, and half of the ring finger. Somebody help!

What the heck is going on around here?

Well, Baby M has had his vision checked and could possibly need glasses! I can't imagine he would leave them on his face if this proves to be the case. It seems that just one eye has poor vision and of course they don't want that eye to get lazy. He is on his 5th ear infection for the year so he will be getting tubes sometime soon. Flippity has been in karate for the past year, and has now decided that he doesn't want to do it anymore. We decided not to force him, because I don't want him to hate going. My summer school class (Microbiology) is proving to be a joke. Nothing against young instructors, but this one just turned 25 and is a total pushover. She really wants everyone in the class to get an A, so she's making it so just shy of letting us use our notes on the ridiculously simple exams. I think the next one may include a photo of Elmo for us to identify (just pure speculation). My sister, neighbor, and friend of mine (all separate people) are doing a fitness bootcamp 5 days per week for 4 weeks. It has kicked my butt this past week. It starts at 5:30am, so of course, I don't have to worry about where the boys will go. Isn't that crazy that if mothers of small children want to exercise (or do anything for that matter on our own) we have to get up before the sun or do it in the dead of night. That same rule doesn't seem to apply to dads for some reason... We have a new camera that we are trying out, so all my pictures are stuck on there until I have time to figure out how to upload them.

The Sad Reality of Adoption

I have been following a blog of a fabulous family for years. I watched them receive their first referral for an amazing baby girl from Ethiopia a couple years ago, and now their second referral for a 2 month old beautiful baby girl last week. The second baby that was referred to them has now passed away. I can't imagine the overwhelming sadness that lives in their house right now. These children are so precious, so innocent, so fragile. A common reason why these birth mothers want so desperately for their child to go to a family that can afford to feed them. Something as simple as food and water. Something we, as Americans, take for granted. The most basic need of the human body is water. When a child gets ill because of dehydration, it seems so simple to fix. Not the case in Ethiopia. Pray for these children and families facing this situation.

All the things I love about my boys...

Flippity:

He is a tenderhearted child who genuinely cares how others are feeling.
He is generally a good listener and helper.
He can stick with a task and see it through.
He loves me and seeks me as comfort.
I usually don't have to worry about what he is doing.
He has a great sense of humor.
He has an amazing memory.
He is very well behaved (compared to most children).
He is a good friend to others.
He is an interesting child.

Baby M:

He has a fun sense of humor.
He can do it himself and will.
He is very independent.
He is not afraid to try new physical things.
He has a fabulous laugh and smile.
He is always busy.
He is loves his mama.
Others are drawn to him.
He is a perfect child (usually) in the presence of new people.
He knows what he wants and is not afraid to ask for it.

We are learning to take the good with the bad, a lesson that needs constant refreshing, and learning to look past the muck and enjoy what we have. Babies are hard, thats all there is to it. But if you let the 'hard' be dominant, you'll never enjoy the stuff you should.

Angry Baby

Just what do you do with an angry baby? Anybody? Baby M (disregard his angelic, happy little face) is mad. If anyone takes something from him he throws a tantrum. Turning off the water in the bath, picking him up when he is in the wrong place, taking something from him that he should not have... all these things cause him to beat on me. He will throw things at me (very hard), and pound on me in anger. Once again, this is like being a first time mom. I do not know how to deal with a child like this. It seems like a 1 year old child should not have this much rage. What do I do, and how do I change this behavior in him? Is it even possible? Baby M will even throw food at the table out of spite. He will look me in the eye, after I have told him it is naughty, and throw the food anyway. I am very certain that he understands 'No' and 'Naughty'. He is a smart child and I think this is only the tip of the iceberg as far as us butting heads will go. Somebody HELP!